I tried to fuse our worlds , but he always canceled on us. Seven years into this life, I know how to be alone — and to be okay.That doesn’t mean I don’t yearn for connection, though — which is why I texted Tall Eric one Saturday morning to hang out with us. It soon became clear that the boys were more interested in playing hide-and-seek than in taking in baseball history, so we headed to the park where we’d all met.The Ex Factor One of the most troubling hurdles for men to overcome when dating a single mom is the fact that the ex-husband or boyfriend may still be around, caring for his children.Trust me when I say, you have no reason to be jealous or worried about any kind of relationship developing if you are dating a seasoned single mom.Furthermore, many of us after unsuccessful marriages have our self esteem wounded, experience guilt over making our kids victims of decisions that didn’t work out, may begin to doubt our abilities to choose appropriate partners and even delude ourselves into believing we are entitled to and can realistically expect to forge intimate and satisfying relationships without risking disappointments and rejections.Have you endured all the discouragement you can take in one paragraph?
I didn’t tell them Jack’s dad left when I was 11 weeks pregnant. “I’m a single parent, too.” Over the next hour, I tied Jack’s shoelaces, dished out handfuls of rainbow Goldfish crackers, and talked to Tall Eric about single parenthood and his work as a filmmaker and mine as a writer.
By lazy, I mean I don't put in the real effort required to make online dating work. I have a lot of other things on my plate and to be completely honest, I love how my life is going as of now. The reality is if you want to succeed with online dating, you've got to go out with a plethora of frogs to meet any potential partner, and right now, I have taken a slight back seat to swiping left and right and mindlessly texting guys who I will probably never meet.
I love my friends, kid, work, and social life — OK, so some weekend nights, I'm stumped on whom to go out with if I am kid-free — so why complicate it with a man? But of course, the idea of romance and love still appeals to me. When I get a match whom I am not crazy over, I decide to not meet him and, instead, go see friends.
Instead of periodic flare ups of painful inflammation of muscles and joints we are left dealing with periodic flare ups of our children’s painful struggles to come to terms with our divorces, flare ups of our own painful struggles to come to terms with divorce and episodic painful dealings with our divorced spouses.
The evolution and stabilization of split off family units do not come about without mourning obsolete family units and coping with individual and systemic growing pains.